Have it His Way

Christian-charity can look two ways, Buddy. It's all very nice to turn the other cheek, and in so doing, prove you're the bigger person. When you have to do that_around your home however, it can sometimes get mighty difficult. Obviously you have no idea as to what i'm talking about, so let me put in in one word_we probably all understand...Landlords, and what the fuck to do with them. Contary to what most good folks think about, Jesus Christ, i personally would see the whole bloody lot of them_draged out into a field somewhere, and, with the rest of 'the enemies of the state' have a lead-bullet resurved for their fucking heads_just in case, or at least_the past number of the little shits i've been dealing with recently in my life, i would.

They seem all to have their dirty-little-tricks too; when it comes to undergoing those occaisional building-repairs_that seemingly only landlords are able to convince themselves_don't need mending from time-to-time. In other words, they have ways of getting out of the work and expense that most apartment-blocks surely require at some point or another. Mine played a particularry nasty trick_when i first moved in, and, quite frankly i was so suprised by his move; that it caught me off-balance. What pisses me off most, however, is that i sometimes work for the Lil-fucker, and, he had the good-fortune to know me_almost as a friend; for nearly two years before i moved into this one of his meny, rat-dens, he owns all over the city. I thought he was one of the good-ones, because, he would always have me painting vacant apartments, just before new tenants moved-in, and, often other contractors would have been, or, were-around_while i was doing my job. The fact that he didn't offer to have my digs painted_though he said he would, before i got tired of waiting, and, made no effort to even supply the paint, should have been a tip-off, however.

Anyway, i've been living here for just over a year now, and, decided it't time the land-lord replace the kitchen floor_a pratice i've seen him engauge-in for meny of his other tenents; even before they've moved-in. It didn't seem to be sush an unreasonable request since, for one, my floor is in worse condition_probably to anything i have seen him lease before, and oh, did i mention_i work for the fucker! Obviously at this point you have come to the definate conclusion his responce was a big, fat-No; which it was. It was the way in which he responded, however, which really pisses me off, and, for which is the reason i say: Drag him out into the field and have him dealt with!

If you're just a dirty-little slum`lord, fine_just admit it, but, don't try to, guilt me, by suddenly throwing the living-arrangements we have both agreed-upon, for over the past year_in my face! Don't say to me: "Oh you have a cat, so don't make problems for him (meaning the floor-repairs) or he will call the rentel-board and have me thrown-out!"
Don't try to intimadate me_with the bad-mood you're in, because of a giant hole in the first-floor apartments cealling; caused through water-dammage by my neighbour, a one Mrs.Chruch-Lady, of which you tried to imply for the past week was_probably, my fault; until i suprised you by walking-in when you left the front-door open the other day when you were working doww-stairs!

Now imagine i'm living here a week, Ay...maybe ten days, and, my stuff has been here that-long; while everything's unpacked and placed. Finally my lazy-assed land-lord showes-up, and i get the chance to sign my lease. At first it's all a very standard deal, until he rips-out another peice of paper, and, starts writing on that. Though on a number of occaisions he has come to my old address to pay me for work, and, i'de gone down to his car with my dog, suddenly there's a big altercation about that. Eventually he says: i can keep my dog & cat, as long as nobody complains. I have to argue with him to smoke in my own apartment. He writes that i can't have anything blocking my balcony-landing stairways; which in time i learn was just another way of saying i couldn't have even a chair on the front balcony; were i wanting to sit there, or, smoke my cigrattes, i guess/lol. Anyway, the list just goes on and on; while i have to fight with him for my every human right. Frankly, it was eather, he, have it his way, or, i was soon to be out on the sidewalk. I signed that lease under-duress. I could go to court at any-time, and, have it overturned. But why bother...if i get my little reveloution, we can be quite certan i will do more that just put the fear into some people_the way they have often ownly tried to put into me.

And in the mean-time, i guess, i'll simply coutinue living here_since it's positivally the most fantastic apartment i have ever lived-in_durring the entirity of my life_mear feet from under-ground transportation; while the availabul floor walking-space, gets covered with washabul carpets i can pick-up at the Dollar-store. Life could be worse.
amen